*on a long car ride*
me: I spy with my little eye-
girlfriend: no
me: …
girlfriend: …
me: I hears with my little ears-
\\ Emily \\ 20\\
I'm less of a mess
Insta:: daiisy.head
s.t❤️
*on a long car ride*
me: I spy with my little eye-
girlfriend: no
me: …
girlfriend: …
me: I hears with my little ears-
im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. and i want to be set loose.
the energy of this post is dark and mysterious
why would u eat healthy?????? to live longer ????..??? .all im hearing are two negatives.
I used to hate sleeping because it’s just like being unconscious for eight hours but now I love sleep because it’s just like being unconscious for eight hours
It’s really not a “gen z are funnier than millennials” thing it’s just that high schoolers are consistently the funniest people alive no matter what year it is
i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic
Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit
trying to prove a point to birds
house arrest is so funny to me. you commited crimes, stay home
A D V A N C E D G R O U N D I N G
i’m so bad at remembering the average age for baby milestones like someone will be like “she’s 18 months (:” and i’ll be like “right what can she…… do? teeth? are there teeth?”
“stats?”
What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like
“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.”
“Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”
“Are you still up?”
“Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”
“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.”
“Like what?”
“I dunno. Pizza rolls?”
“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?”
“Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”
“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”
“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”
“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?”
“…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”
“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”
“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”
“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”
“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”
“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”
“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”
This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.
happy halloween! here is a ghost duet
I love this so much. I always play it when it comes on
how cute
